Mercy Talks Sex: Is BDSM right for you?
With books like The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom, and Fifty Shades of Gray on the hot lists, it might have occurred to some of you that BDSM might be for you. Or maybe you’d like to jump on the erotic bandwagon and write a BDSM story of your own. Either way check out the following 5 Sexy topics.
1. You don’t have to be a masochist to enjoy Dominance and Submission role play.
The first thing to learn about BDSM is that there are many different topics and activities that fall under the umbrella. You might join a BDSM social media site and be scared out of your little pink panties by some of the stories that are posted there. The great thing about these types of sites is that they provide a non judgmental forum to explore your intimate needs. Before you jump into the deep end, make sure you know what your boundaries are. If you experience pain as pleasure, or enjoy being humiliated by your partner then you might lean more towards the S & M side. If what appeals to you is the offer of complete trust and therefore complete intimacy between a Dom and his Sub, then you might be interested in just the Dominance and Submission side. The point is, do your research, and set your boundaries early. And don’t forget to communicate them!
2. Discover your most intimate needs by exploring your boundaries.
One of the most played up concepts of BDSM role play is the idea that the submissive partner gives over complete control to her dominant partner. This release of control, allows the sub to be free to accept any and everything that is done to her/him. In a way it is also a release of guilt. By transferring complete control of your body to another person, you also transfer many of the negative self conscious feelings you might have about pushing the boundaries of your experience. The idea of consequence free relations sounds too good to be true…and it is, but that’s not really the point. The release of guilt and fear provides both partners with a sense of comfort that might not be so easily found elsewhere. These are the building blocks to complete trust, and frankly astounding intimacy.
3. Finding a good Dom can fortify your self esteem.
Just as in The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom, the interaction between and a Dom and a Sub can be exhilarating, and life altering for some. Finding your latent self esteem and a sense of empowerment can go a long way towards leading you to take control of your life. The problem is that trustworthy, attractive Dominants are few and far between. The combination of qualities that come together to make a great dominant are a rare occurrence. The key is to weed out all the sadists (unless of course you’re a masochist) and just general abusive jerks. This writer’s research on the topic revealed an abundance of these types of Doms. It seemed that the ideas, or should we say ideals that where discussed in all of the novel’s I’d read were just that… an idealized version of the truth. If you are considering a foray into the community, it might be a good idea to discover just where the fiction ends, and reality begins.
4. BDSM might not be for you but exploring the concepts might bring you closer to yourself.
Understanding what attracts you to BDSM might be a mirror into your inner most desires. Do you feel alone even when you are in a relationship? Do you have a vague sense of dissatisfaction with the level of intimacy that you feel with your partner? Those seeking a deeper connection might tend to be more attracted to the ideals displayed in popular BDSM Romance. There are many many sources of information related to the psychology of the Dom Sub relationship. Checking out what’s out there might be a good way to explore your own needs.
5. Sometimes the fantasy isn’t nearly as good as the reality.
Well…lets be honest. Is the reality ever better than the fantasy? Actually in some cases yes! What you imagine you might like can be a far cry from what you’d actually enjoy. The point is that if you never seek you will never find. Don’t be afraid to explore your inner most needs. Don’t be afraid to try new things, and to open yourself up to new experiences. But be careful. The number one commandment of BDSM relationships is that you must communicate!! You set the boundaries, and you set the rules of what is acceptable and what is not. If you decide to take the plunge, make sure that you get as detailed as necessary when writing up your contract.
Whatever you decide. Keep Reading!!!
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